I Have Issues (10)

By: J. Ryan Buck (Lostscribe)

"Truly, to tell lies is not honorable; but when the truth entails tremendous ruin, To speak dishonorably is pardonable." -Sophocles

This is a follow-up to Identity Crisis which I did in I Have Issues # 8. If you haven't read that one you might want to so that this will make more sense.

http://lostscribe0.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-have-issues-8-now-with-pictures.html

JLA #115-119
(W) Geoff Johns, Allan Heinberg (A) Chris Batista

J'onn J'onzz (Martian Manhunter) is visiting his home planet of Mars. The planet is dead, his whole race wiped out by a psychokenitic plague many years before. This planet used to be his home, but now he only has one home, it's from here we transition to the JLA watchtower and a near brawl about to break out with the members Hawkman and Green Arrow. They used to be friends but no longer as the secret of this team is erroding away at the core of what they stand for. Wally West (Flash III) comments that the only reason he called them all here was to let them know that he is going to tell Batman what the group has been doing and what they did to him. J'onzz shows up and asks, “what are they going to tell Batman?” Wally replies that all he has to do is read their minds. J'onzz replies that he can't, it's then they all look at Zatanna. Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) shows up and replies that they need to get everything out in the open and that he is there at Wally's request. (This was after Hal Returned but was still looked upon as a mass murderer by some Leaguers due to his time as Parallax.) Carter Hall (Hawkman) and Hal continue to debate the merits of airing the Leagues dirty laundry. J'onzz getting a little impatient again asks, “what did they do?” Hawkman attempts to leave and Hal creates a green barricade on the door. Hal explains that back when the Society of Super-Villians switched identities with the League and they knew who their secret identities were, they had Zatanna use her magic to erase the Societies memories. Then after Dr. Light raped Sue Dibny they went to more extreme measures, mainly changing his personality. Green Arrow points out that they lobotomized him. Zatanna admits that she erased Batman and J'onzz memory and then set up the magical block so that he would not pick up stray thoughts from them. Carter then points out that if he had known it was going to be this big of a “thing” then he would have just killed Dr. Light. (Would anyone have blamed him?) Wally reiterates that they need to let Batman know what they did, J'onzz does a quick mind scan and then replies that, Batman already knows.

In Belle Reve prison Deborah Darnell has been unconscious for five years. A pair of red eyes in the shadows awakens Deborah and transforms her into her alter ego the villain Star Sapphire. Awakened she is furious as she asks, “who will be held accountable... ?”

Back on the JLA satellite Zatanna is feeling remorseful for her actions. Hal tries to console her reminding that she was a rookie at the time. Zatanna admits that the worst part is that if push came to shove again, she would make the same choice. Just then they get a call for help from Red Tornado who is under attack in Rhode Island. Just as they are about to swoop into action they get another distress call from Opal City.

Tornado is fending off an attack as tree branches wrap up the android and rip his circuitry up. On the scene, Hal Jordan scans Tornado to find him barely operational. The group of Dinah Lance (Black Canary) Oliver Queen and Hal specualate who is attacking, Poison Ivy, Swamp Thing? (my guess would be Floronic Man, haven’t read this in years.) Dinah starts to choke and then opening her mouth, let's out black canary's. (This is not one of her powers if you are new to the DC universe and are unaware.) Green Arrows bow sprouts thorns cutting Ollies hand and causing him to drop it. Green lantern is about to get shove some light up the villians asses when time freezes around him. In the shadows stands Chronos, Felix Faust and the Floronic man, (I knew it!)

In Opal City, Ralph Dibny is running from an attack and is saved at the last minute by Carter, Zatanna and Wally. In the shadows and watching the heroes watch Star Sapphire, Matter Master and Wizard.

In Gotham Catwoman is beating the tar out of Firefly on the rooftops. Batman shows up and Selina Kyle does her usual sexy talk to get out of situations to which Bruce replies that she needs to return the diamonds that she took from Firefly. Just as she leans in to get closer to Bruce she smacks into something invisible. J'onzz appears and apologizes which he should he was practically on top of Batman! The Martian says that they need to talk and Bruce makes sure to get the diamonds back from Ms. Kyle before she uses this diversion to slink away. It's after this little exchange that Red Tornadoes parts fall from above, followed by the JLA's unconscious bodies. Above Batman, J'onn and Catwoman stannding on a pink construct created by Sapphire stand all six villains together with the Wizard stating, “Hello Bruce. Remember us? Because we remember... everything,” 

Martian Manhunter says that it will take him a few minutes to wake up the rest of the League, Batman replies, “you've got one.” (Stupid ass villians. They couldn't just throw the league in a construct that could hold them, or even just leave them where they were. No they had to make a big show and bring the team with them. Think they are gonna be sorry about this decision here in a few minutes?) Catwoman jumps in grabbing Firefly's flame thrower and starts spraying the villians, while Batman pulls J'onn back to avoid the flames. Catwoman then asks if this makes her a member? (Apparently she forgot that she was already a member back in JLA 17 when she saved the League from Prometheus by whipping him in the nutsack.)

To defeat a villain you need to find his weakness and exploit it... or just strike him in balls, whatever. Pictured also, Batman's weakness, Flash's weakness,Green Lanterns weakness etc.

Faust absorbs the flame into himself and uses it to encircle Catwoman asking her which side is she on? Using the fire he meneuvers her off the side of the building. Batman throws a line for Selina and while he is trying to pull her up, he is grabbed by Floronic man from behind. Woodrue encircles Bruces head with a green mist but then a gets a chunk of his head taken out by Hawkman. Matter Master takes control of Carters sheild and magnetically puts it into his flesh attempting to sever his arm. The Flash helps Ralph to his feet and they are visited by Star Sapphire who demands that they get on their knees. Wally mentions that it's damn tempting! Matter Master is pushing the sheild further into Carters shoulder with his foot saying that he wants to hear a scream. Dinah obliges and takes the old man down with a sonic yell. 

Ollie pulls the sheild out of Hawkmans shoulder and Chronos shows up and makes the time bomb arrow in Queen's quiver go off. Zatanna and J'onn are on bystander duty as they trie to keep the collarater damage for hurting anyone. The Wizard taunts the pair and Zatanna points out that he is a lame ass magician. Faust emerges with a black cat in hand and ready to sacrifice it to cast a spell. Selina takes exception to this and scratches Faust who in turn cuts her and uses her blood to finish the spell. Before he can conjure anything Manhunter blasts the pentagram of blood underneath Faust's feet, “no more magic today.” commands J'onn (so I guess Zatanna is done for the day?) Faust says, “one last trick.” and then makes the villains disappear. (My major complaint of Geoff Johns is his diminishing the roles of Kyle Rayner and Wally West in the DC universe. I read a load of Flash and Green Lantern issues during my high school and early 20's that built up these two characters and unlike Bruce Wayne who IS Batman and Clark Kent who IS Superman, the Flash, Green Lantern and Green Arrow were characters that could be replaced by others. Hell, Jordan and Allen weren't even the first ones to carry the mantle of said characters. Not to mention both characters death's were so iconic that bringing them back diminished even the characters themselves in my opinion. That rant having been made, I must say Johns along with James Robinson are the masters of bringing old school style into the modern age of comics. This battle was like every old school Saturday morning cartoon battle. No serious damage dealt and everyone got their moments in. Done all the time this becomes hokey but I really enjoyed this old school battle.) With the Villains gone Dinah asks Zatanna what the symbol Faust left on the ground is. Zatanna answers that it's the eye of truth, the Third eye. (Insert dirty joke here.) While the heroes are picking up the pieces, Batman and Catwoman exit stage left.

In the Batcave Catwoman is on the table and Alfred is attending to her wounds. Batman tell's alfred to prepare the spare bedroom and then J'onn appears and tells Bruce that they need to talk. Bruce mentions that they have nothing to talk about. The next page has the rest of the league looking somber and Jo'nn saying, “Then Listen!” Zatanna steps forward and takes full responsibility and tells Bat's that will do anything in her power to make it right between them. Bruce tells her that she can leave. Ollie says that with the Society having their memories back they have to stick together. Dinah tells Bruce they need him. Batman mentions they didn't need him when they lobotomized Light or Faust or anyone else they violated. Carter makes the argument that all they took from Bruce was ten minutes of his life and that the move was to save Sue, Ralph and who knows who else. He asks him if his ten minutes was more important or his friends? Next page we get Batman decking Hawkman and yelling, “My friends would never have done that to me.” (Kind of hypocritical of Bruce when it's revealed during the OMAC mini series that he had a whole network set up to take down all the heroes if they were ever to get out of line. But that's Batman for you, he's kind of an asshole.) 

Hal steps in and stops the fight that everyone would love to see, and Batman leaves everyone in disgust. It's then heroes break to guard their loved ones for the attacks that are sure to come form the Society who knows who their secret identities are again. As J'onn heads back to the satellite he finds someone sitting in his chair. It's someone who claims that they have everything to do with getting the society back their stolen memories... Despero.

(In the back of this comic is what comics come out the same month, with the feature comic being All Star Batman and Robin. Boy I sure do hope this Frank Miller and Jim Lee joint doesen't take seven years to get ten issues only to announced for a reboot long after anyone stopped caring and still waiting to see as of August 2012. Of course Jim Lee would go on to draw the current Justice League reboot and Miller would go on to direct a horrible fucking film staining the legacy of Will Eisners great character the Spirit as well as threatening us with more films to come.)

                     And on the day the term "Epic Fail" was created we looked on in wonder.

Despero mentions it's ironic that he has been trying to destroy the League for years and that they would end up doing something that will destroy themselves. Jo'nn states that the Leauge is not as fragile as Despero believes and then it's clobberin time! Despero is one of those threats that usually takes the entire League to defeat and so the Martian Manhunter tries to contact his teammates. (Is it me or did DC miss the boat on who to make their token gay character a couple of months ago? I mean it's right in J'onzz name isn't it? I kid, I kid.) Unfortunately for the green leaguer everyone else has their hands full at the moment.

The Flash zips into the Daily Planet and snags Lois Lane. Taking her to a private janitor closet to start to explain the situation and asks where Clark is? Before the conversation gets too deep an explosion cuts loose in the building.. The Society attempting to bring the whole building down while they discuss who they will go after next, going through a laundry list of the heroes loved ones names. Lois is hanging on for dear life on a flag pole after she was blown out of the side of the building during the explosion. (Seriously how many times has Lois been hanging from a flagpole? I would like a count on that.) Flash attempts to bring her back into the building but is time stopped by Chronos. Matter Master liquifies the flagpole and Lois is left to fall down the side of building. As usual she is grabbed in mid-fall by the man of steel. (You just know one of the Society members shits their pants at his arrival. I'm not pointing fingers but Matter Master I am looking your way.) 

Hawkman, GL, Ollie, Dinah and Zee show up to lend a hand as Sapphire knocks the giant Daily Planet... uh planet off the top of the building. Hal slams the golden globe into Sapphire knocking her for a loop. The Floronic Man curls his branches around Jordan but is shot with ice arrows by Ollie. On the next page we get Hawkman fighting a pterodactyl, oh did I fail to mention that one of the villians summoned pterodactyl's. The panel isn't explicit as to who, but I'm guessing Chronos brought some from the past. (Seriously you have the ability to mess with time and bring anything from the past and you bring pterodactyl's. I would bring like five Doomsdays from several different times and drop them in Metropolis then just head down to Starbucks and watch the heroes get their asses kicked, but hey no one ever said the villains were smart. 

                                                                Pictured, PAIN!

Also think about the poor pterodactyl's who were just minding their own business and then suddenly a guy in a Hawk costume is trying to rip open your mouth and smacking you in the head with a mace. I'm not sure if PETA extends to dinosaurs and creatures that are already extinct but just because you have a guy in a bird costume doing the damage I'm not sure that would “fly” with them.) Dinah sonic screams at Chronos and Matter Master while the Wizard is attempting to destroy the base of the Daily Planet. The Flash tackles the Wizard and Faust blasts Supes into a wall claiming he has summoned the rays of Kryptons red sun. It's then Zatanna steps in and cast a stop spell on Faust and then decks him. Superman pulls himself to his feet and wonders how they knew he was Clark, to which Z responds, that they need to talk. After a brief explanation as to what is going on the heroes find themselves at the same crossroads as years ago, they have villains who know their secret identities so what do they do. Hawkman tells them it is going to come down to a vote again.

Meanwhile J'onn is doing battle with Despero as they chase each other in space and come crashing down to earth all the while the Martian is telepathically calling for help. Despero taunts the green hero with the fact that he is using his ample psychic abilities to dampen the call and anyway the rest of the League is too busy fighting eachother to hear him anyway. Suddenly a steel rod is shoved through Despero's shoulder and behind him is Aquaman.

The League continues to debate what to do about the Society with the vote going down to 3 against 3 and Zatanna being the deciding vote. Zatanna says that she will not do it again, no matter what the consensus is and that she quits the League for good this time, and with that she disappears.

Aquaman knocks Despero through a ship and into the ocean where he commands a pack of sharks to tear the villain up. Charging into the alien, Aquaman continues the battle underwater and not to call out the artist but he mistakenly draws a cityscape underwater in couple of the scenes. Honest mistake seeing as the fight is taking place both in the city and underwater and the comic is also being written by two writers. (They missed the boat on this one, no pun intended. This should have been a mistake that was used in a storyline. A city appears underwater and the heroes have to investigate.) 

(On the next page we get an advertisement for WWE Day of Reckoning 2 for Gamecube.)

                                                              ahhh memories.

Back to the comic at hand as Arthur brings Despero back to the surface and with a combined assualt of psychic powers the two Leaguers attack Despero and the battle must continue!

The rest of the league heads to the Watchtower to get the final cote from J'onn and find that they cannot find him where they left him, although he is a shapeshifter so he could be anything couldn't he? All they find is that the place has been trashed during a battle.

In the Batcave Catwoman tries to get some emotion out of Bruce who is both angry and somber at the same time. Selina tries to get close to him and they are then interrupted by Aquaman, Martian Manhunter and Despero. Soon Batman starts to have a headache and then he kicks Selina into a wall. Despero now has control of all three League members and the stage is set for the finale. (Now here is where the storyline, while still an adequate JLA tale takes the easy route instead of the more risky and logical step. You have League members against League members already as the two sides have different viewpoints on the situation. You have Batman who already has methods to defeat all the heroes as seen in “The Tower of Babel” JLA story as well as the Brother Eye mini series. So with all of these elements and characters in place why not split the League in two and set Batman up as a renegade reclusive that doesen't trust anyone with powers. There you have a years worth of stories as well as your summer crossover blockbuster all set as heroes are against heroes and Batman hates them all. What's that you say? Marvel's Civil War already did that? Not at this point they didn't. Civil was in 2006 while this comic was in 2005. So you have already scooped Marvel's next summer plans and all you had to do was make the next logical step in the story. Instead we get the League versus the League, but not really because Aquaman, Manhunter, and Batman are being controlled by Despero. Enough of my ranting and raving, let's get to the conclusion.)

Catwoman calls the rest of the JLA to help her out and damn they are fast as ecery is there and kicking Despero's ass in the span of a panel. Dinah is the next to be taken over as she turns and sonic screams Hawkman while Superman gets put in a headlock by the Manhunter. Green Lantern pours it on with his ring right into Despero's third eye... ahem. The whole time Despero is trying to cause Hal to doubt himself since he did turn evil and kill a bunch a people back in the 90's. (What ever happened to Hal Jordan being a mass-murdering fuckhead? Oh yeah we rebooted, that's right, so I guess all is forgiven then.) Batman decks GL and then Hal is also taken over by Despero. Despero pulls Hawkmans wings off of his harness, wile Hal is trying to shoot spears at Flash but he is just too damn fast. Flahs is felled by Despero from the distraction of trying to run for his life and then everyone looks to Supes who they then collectively knock through the Wayne Manor wall. Alfred stops to check on Clark and is then met by Bruce who has a batarang in hand and is ready to kill. Hawkman tackles Batman and gets punched in the face for his trouble. Carter smacks Bat's with the grandfather clock used to conceal the entrance to the batcave. Hawkman is pretty beaten at this point and Batman drops him to the floor. Despero comes to finish off Superman and while he tries to overtake the man of steel, he struck by a tornado, a red tornado as the android appears and let's despero know that he cannot control him, for he is an android.

 Then the rest of the mind-controlled League appears ready to make scrap metal of Red while Despero continues trying to submit Superman. Then Zatanna appears and commands Despero to stop, well she says it backwards anyway. Zee then free's the rest of the League and then says that she is going to fix everything and leaves in a puff of pink smoke. The League then admits that maybe it's best if they spend some time apart (I've heard that one before it really means they just want to see someone else. Bitch!) The team splits mostly amicably leaving just J'onn and Superman to rebuild the league while the rest of the team takes Despero to OA for containment.

At Belle Reve Zatanna is confronting the Secret Society who all taunt her with the fact that she is going to have to do it again, she is going to have to erase them. She admits that that is what she is going to do but considering what she could do to them and all the people they have killed and terrorized that they deserve far worse, then she again wipes their memories clean of the heroes identities.

The story does end on a personal note which I always like because it humanizes the characters. Batman is staring at Selina's picture on his moniter as he call's for J'onn to show himself because he can hear him breathing. J'onn asks Bruce what he already knows, that his anger over what happened wasn't just about the betrayal. It was the fact that Catwoman was a member of the original Secret Society and got her mind-wiped with the rest of them. 

Bruce in his own way is in love with Selina and feels that Selina is in love with him, or was it just cause she was made docile like the rest of the Society. Bruce doesen't know if she really loves him or if she is just not herself after being lobotomized. (Yet another missed storyline opportunity, though it was cool they even thought of this as being his motivation.)

So their you have it, the follow up to Identity Crisis and the lead in to Infinite Crisis, though I need a small break from Events I will probably hit that one in the future. This post should have been done two weeks ago but going on vacation and going through the steps of buying a house kind of got in the way. Also during my time away I got to go to the Baltimore Comic-Con. Though I could really only afford to go for one day this year it was still a blast!

I met Garth Ennis, Jeff Lemire, Roger Stern, Frank Quitely, Paul Levitz, Mark Waid, John Wagner, Brian Bolland, Mark Buckingham, Ron Marz and others that I am sure I am forgetting. Sadly the one I wanted to meet the most, Scott Snyder I never did. Ran by his signing booth on four occasions and he was never their. Oh well there is always next year. Picked up loads of comics for cheap which made me realize that I need to start listing comics worth digging for in my post so starting next post I am adding a small part I'm calling “Life in the Quarter-Bin” where I showcase cheap comics well worth your time and money to find!

Also as a side story I feel like a piece of my life is now complete as I saw Brian Bolland drawing Judge Dredd. Now for those who don't know, Brian Bolland is unquestionably the greatest Dredd artist of all time, but unfortunately his style is so detailed that he takes a long time to produce artwork, so he has been mostly relegated to doing covers in the last fifteen or so years. Seeing the master at work for me was the equivalent of seeing Michael Jordan (something I have never done, but can imagine) play live, my heart literally skipped for a second.

Previous installments found here http://lostscribe0.blogspot.com/